I had an epic erotic dream this morning. I was so inspired when I opened my eyes all I could say to myself was "God that was so beautiful!" over and over again. So I made a public Facebook status which I am sharing with you below. I did not include the description of my dream. After the status is read I will share it with you.
This post contains explicit language and images. So please be mindful of that when sharing. LOL! I used to never give those kinds of disclaimers but now that I am older I can respect others sensitivities.
Homosexuality is a beautiful and natural expression of love between couples of the same sex. It is so natural that even certain animals mate with others of their sex for lifelong companionship. Bisexuality teaches us that sexual orientation is not black and white but a grey area to be accepted as part of human nature. Sexuality is a range. No one should be forced to perform sex acts that they are not comfortable with or want to engage in freely. No one should be persecuted, attacked, or killed for engaging in the sexual acts they are comfortable with. No human being should be shamed for expressing their sexuality. It is this repression and oppression of what is natural that has caused us to stray so far away from who we truly are as spiritual beings.
We are spirits. In the realm of spirit there is no gender, no orientations, no judgement. We are made of stardust and at the moment of birth we become the manifestation of all that is in the universe. Just as the seeds of the lavender plant germinate, grow, and are harvested we walk the cycle of our life. As the lavender is distilled, it's essence bottled, and becomes pure essential oils so does our spirit elevate with each stage of it's process. Once bottled essential oils bring refreshment, healing, and comfort. What happens to the oil once it goes on your skin? Where does the plants essence go when it is diffused? Where does the oil go when it's evaporated? From seed to essence. A glorious mystery. That's what being an aromatherapist has taught me. That there is no end and no beginning. Just a continuum of consciousness.
I thank the universe everyday that I was born Queer. I don't have a "sexual orientation", and I don't conform to any strict gender roles. I just am who I am and go about my life appreciating the beauty of Nature. My queerness has been a hammer. It has shattered so many lies. Our society is groaning in pain. And that pain is the inability to let go of the patriarchy and oppression that has been inflicted on us by religion. As we continue to shed the anger, fear, and pain Christianity, Islam, and other archaic religions have forced on us the healing process will be long. Those who want to cling to those beliefs will continue to cycle through their own personal hells.
So let it go. Teach others to let it go. Love your friends and family. Like a wisdom teacher admonished love your enemies also. But open up your mind. Move beyond the forms. Whatever you believe in... is probably wrong. The Universe is so vast. How could anyone be so egotistical to claim to speak on God's behalf? Have a good day and you're welcome.
So now about this dream. I do not remember exactly how it began but I ended up at the baths. There was showers and a hot tub in a relatively small room. But I like that. I like getting sexually active with men in very in closed environments, especially if it's sealed off and dark. I know that sounds creepy! It's not to me. I gravitate to the locker room sex acts in the showers, steam rooms, and saunas. So do a lot of other men, so I know I am not alone. Locker room cruising and play is and has always been my "thing". Anyway I found myself sharing a hot tub with three other boys. I say boys because I was younger in my dream, actually like my teenage self. Surprisingly two of the other boys were men I know in real life, Rasta and Andrew. Rasta is a famous dancer that I was close friends with in my early teens and Andrew was my childhood best friend. But we all seemed to be between the ages of 16-18. The fourth boy was a beauty, his looks and physique far exceeding the rest of us. Swimmers build, dark eyes, dark hair, and a banana cock that stood straight up when erect. Marvelous to look at. We did not have sex in the dream, we were mutually masturbating in the tub, kissing, holding each other, and generally being lazy boys. My feelings were complex of course! I felt like these guys were my brothers although all unrelated and at the same time lovers who freely shared our attention and erotic bodies with each other. Deep emotions stirring from deep within. This was the first time I had a dream like this in a long time.
The most profound moment in the dream occured when our young beautiful boy got out of the tub to admire himself in a mirror. He was soapy and washing his hair or something. I lay between Rasta and Andrew in the hot tub snuggled. I was fondling Andrew's cock in amusement. To see my boyhood friend nude, erect, and erotic was mesmerizing. Then he said "look at him". My gaze turned to our beautiful friend. With his arms raised over head, dripping wet, skin flushed from the heat, he looked like a Greek god. Andrew said "I love looking at his ass". As I admired his ass the boy turned around to show off his manhood. It was erect, perfect in shape, and bobbing up and down with excitement. Pulsing with virility and life.
I guess to recap and reflect on this epic post I have to admit my recent epiphanies. I made a bold statement in my Facebook post which was "everything you believe to be true is probably wrong, or something like that. Not to get overly religious but over the past year I had to go back and yet again re examine my beliefs in light of my cosmic meltdown and consciousness shift of Fall 2018. If you don't know about it, good, I am not going to recount. Let's just say I had a major life crisis last year that almost put me in the grave. That experience re ignited my desire to "get to the bottom of all this". Not so much get to the bottom of the mysteries of life but to get to the bottom of me. What I have realized is that I am ok. Despite sitting in my room reading Twitter watching the world burn down around me... I am ok. I had to realize that God, Nature, the Universe, the One over all, the Good, whatever you want to call it is so expensive, superior, and complex I will never know it. Or at least I will never know it as long as I am bound by this corporal existence in time and space. After beating my head up against that theological brick wall for 30 years, I had to let it go. I realized that my views, as broad as they have become, were still too restrictive to find clarity. This website has always represented, at least to me, an expression of "where I am at with it all". As you can see if you have been paying attention I have not tired, I have not slowed down, I have not given up, and don't intend to anytime soon. My only fear is that my time is limited and there is still so much to do, to learn, places to go, people to meet, guys to experience and teach. I feel like I am in a race, a game, to get things done. I am more motivated today than ever before to follow though to accomplish my purpose. Even if I was granted another thousand years to walk this earth I still would not have enough time to do all the things I want. So I am going to start with one day at a time. Do you want to come along with me? Let's do this.